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I'm officially in middle age now and I have to confess I'm not quite sure how I got here. I'm actually somewhat stunned by how quickly the decades have passed. I can't comprehend how twenty five to thirty years has passed by in what feels like less than the blink of an eye. I feel like my twenties and thirties never truly happened even with all the varied experiences I had throughout those decades. All throughout this period something inside me felt suppressed, coiled up and waiting impatiently to be released. So much un-lived life inside me that felt increasingly compressed by environments, people, workplaces and experiences that failed to nourish me on a deeper level.

It's only in the last two and a half years, since leaving the UK, that I have felt more alive and aligned with this life than I can ever remember feeling at any time prior to leaving those shores.

The mistakes of my youth, the lack of confidence, anxiety and naivety that I possessed in so many areas (and the time I wasted as a result) has been replaced with a confidence in the journey - a deeper trust and faith that all will work out.

So many people who figured prominently in my past who have simply disappeared....and I don't miss a single one of them. I'm glad to let go of it all. I lost a lot of years holding onto illusions of relationships with others that only ever existed in my mind. Now there's a faith that all will work out exactly as needed - no matter where I may find myself.

My only regret is that I hadn't arrived here sooner.

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